An open letter to you

I didn’t really realize it until now, until you’re with someone else trying to forget my name and I am , well, I’m here. I’m really not into writing things like these and I’m not into sappy love stories but you need to know.
I’m not sure if it’s easier to act like strangers,  I have tried it but has not helped.
I guess I just want you to know the reason behind my madness.

I started to date you because I wanted to be better than my friend. But boy am I lucky to have actually loved you. You are very firm in your beliefs. Everything is very black and white with you. Wrong or right. You always thought partying was not okay. We would argue about it it daily because I thought that was fun and what I wanted. Now, no one cares if I get wasted. That is not what I want.
You do not believe I have changed or I realize right from wrong. You did not change me, you just showed me the person I am capable of being. I think the saddest part is, you are not here to see it.
I wish you were. You always cared. Now you don’t and I don’t get it.
I love you for everything that you are and nothing that you are not. Every quality about is a reason and all the things that you lack are not important. You are the most compassionate and caring dork I have ever met. I love your thoughts,actions, dreams and words. You don’t even remember why you loved me.
I can tell you every reason why I fell in love like how you play magic and laughed at my really bad jokes. Now you can’t even remember the reason why you ever messaged.
I really can’t blame you, I did not appreciate you. I can’t move on because i feel so guilty. I know I could loved you better and I know who I am now.
I do want you to be happy, you are the most amazing person I met and you should be happy. But I can not be happy for you. The reason is because the way you’re stopping being hurt is replacing me. You are trying to forget the memories and be in a new relationship. The truth is, it is not a new relationship if you are replacing ours with someone new.
You brought me roses at least once a week just to see me smile. We saved a poor kitten named Kitty. You , me and Big Balls had the best cuddle sessions.  If you are doing this because I beat you in rummy or because I eat all your candy and French fries. If this is because Diego loves me more and I stole all your clothes, then I am sorry . I am also sorry for wasting months of your life creating memories that don’t mean shit to you
The best memories i have,  have you in them so I am sorry for not moving on. I believe there is some a possibility because I know I truly know I have changed. Its okay if you don’t , I don’t blame you.
I don’t know how to end this letter.
Please send help, I need to how you forgot and stopped caring so fast. I need to know how you can replace and act like strangers.
I would be okay with this all if you didn’t replace me in every aspect.
Idk
s.o.s

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